True Grit

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     Okay...I'm confused.  I suppose my west coast upbringing didn't help, but I don't think you should hold that against me.

     I don't know what a grit is.  I realize this may be a little like saying, "Who's Charlie Sheen?", but consider, for a minute, the evidence.

     When my husband and I first moved here, he started talking about, and occasionally ordering, grits.  I had never heard of them.  I'd seen hominy before, but since I thought it looked like soggy popcorn I'd never tried it.  I would try a few tentative bites of the white stuff the Man would order, but I didn't like it.  Reminded me of oatmeal, and I LOATHE oatmeal.  As time went on, I got used to it.  Now it's something I keep in the house and make on the weekends for breakfast.  The instant ones, with cheese and salt and pepper.  (Did I just hear a loud gasp with a southern accent?  Yes, instant.  Leave me alone.)  The container even says "Grits" on the label.  Why would I not believe them?

     But something disturbing has been happening to me lately.  I watch cooking shows a lot, and when they make grits, they're yellow.  As in cornmeal.  Or what I call...polenta.  Or what the people from Ohio call....mush. This is the stuff I make with sausage, and refrigerate until firm, then slice and fry and serve with maple syrup, or on my plate...without.  Or that I serve hot alongside chili and stews.

     I know they're both corn, but conflicting information irritates the hell out of me and I want a definitive answer.  When someone made shrimp & grits on Top Chef, they used cornmeal.  But when it was ordered from the little cafe on My Cousin Vinny, it was definitely hominy.  So what gives?

     Maybe you're thinking that this is a small thing and that I'm really putting too much thought into it.  That's valid, I suppose, but I'm, well, anal.  When someone asks me a question and I don't know the answer, I have to look it up.  Saying I don't know is not an option.  And when in my day to day life I stumble on a mystery like this, it bothers me.  Until I solve it.  Keeps me up nights, you know?  I mean, what if one day I'm standing next to Emeril 'cause his sous chef slipped and hit his head and I just happened to be in the dining room when the frantic "Is there a chef in the house??" call rings out from the kitchen, and he tells me to make grits, and I have to say....


"What are grits?"  (insert cricket noises here)


That's the kind of thing you just don't recover from quickly.

     Anyway.....if there's anyone out there who might be able to shed some light on this, preferably someone actually from the south, I would really appreciate it.  And please....hurry.